I just finished reading an article about a professional football player from the Cowboys who adopted a daughter. Apparently, there's been some backlash because the football player and his wife are black and the baby is white. I read some rather ignorant comments posted about the situation then clicked on the next link about the bi-racial cheerios commercial. Again, there were some more ignorant comments. I had to go back and reread the article and watch the ad because, to be honest I really didn't see what the big fuss was for either because the color of a persons skin doesn't really factor into my concept of family.
For those of you who don't know, my youngest sister is black. Because my mom adopted her when I was 15 there were plenty of people who thought she was mine. We have even had people tell us we look alike. (As you can tell by the picture the chances of us being genetically related are not high). The comments that both of us have overheard over the last 22 years are not any less shocking than some I have read today. Here's a sampling of the comments with my usual responses (my sister is the quiet one and is better at ignoring stupidity than I am, but I know she's had to respond to these too).
1. "You two aren't really related!" - really because our birth certificates have the same mom and dad on them so, last time I looked if you have the same mom and dad you're related.
2. "There's no way a white family could teach a black child about their culture!" - and what culture are you specifically talking about? We are American, she's American, we're all American! Plus we've taught her to read, and taken her on trips and watched Roots with her. We even have access to professors of African-American studies! If she has questions we've taught her to ask and seek answers and that includes more than her culture!
3. "Aren't you worried her birthmother will come back?" - she hasn't made an appearnce yet! Her birthmother picked our family because her and I were so much alike and she wanted her daughter to be loved and taken cared of. My sister has always known she was adopted, she knows who her birth parents are and if she ever wanted to find them we'd help her because thats what you do for family!
4. "There's no way that you'll be able to take care of her hair because white people don't understand ethnic hair!" - We can pay to take her to a salon for her hair, you'll always be ugly!
5. "At some point she'll resent that you took her away from her people and she'll have nothing to do with you!" - Who resents who here? Do you resent that a child has a safe,loving home, or are you resentful because your own ignorance and prejudice have prevented you from loving others!
As you can see from the picture my sissy is turning out okay despite having a white family. She's got a degree and a job in social work. She has a variety of friends both black and white. She's fairly well adjusted and I'm proud to have her as my sister (even if she's my mom's favorite)! My kids love their Auntie and don't think twice about what color she is. Until today, I really didn't think the color of your skin dictated the live of your family, and you know what? I still don't!
Stop your fussing!
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