Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day! I've been reading wonderful tributes to mothers everywhere today and they are very touching, which in turn makes me a little touchy on the topic of motherhood. I obviously have a mother. I even attached a picture so you can see the similarities. By most people's account my mom has done a good job. I should serve as evidence of her undying love and sacrifice to her children.  I have a bunch of degrees, a large family which I support in the same field she has been in for over thirty years. My children are fed and happy most days. By most accounts I'm a good teacher like her, but if you scratch the surface just a little you'll see an entirely different picture.

My mom always made sure I had the stuff I needed. She never hit me. She wasn't over bearing, but she really wasn't mentally present in my life. If she couldn't throw money,or stuff at it, she didn't know what to do when it came to me. Cool when you're a kid; not so cool when you're an adult with kids of your own and a lack of financial resources to parent in such a way. I lacked a viable mother example for the situation I was in as a young mother. Hopefully, the therapy I've paid for over the years for my oldest has overcome this.

You see, my mom likes to save things and I never really needed saving. My independent nature is an inheritance from her. I'm not good with being told what to do (inheritance from my dad) and we never really jived. There's not lots of pictures with just me and my mom. I was more a Daddy's girl and when he got cancer I was forced into a parental role for my younger sister. I was encouraged to be mentally strong and useful so, that was my child hood. I had adult responsibility and my mom treated me like an adult from the age of ten.

I'm strong and resourceful thanks to my mom. My strong survival nature is a direct result of her parenting.  For that I'm grateful! I'm sure she did the best she could with what she had (namely me). When I was younger, I use to tell people I raised myself. I now know that's untrue because my oldest likes to say the same thing to me and I KNOW the parenting effort that has gone into him!

The wonderful tributes everyone is making to there mothers today, well I wish I could make one too, but our relationship doesn't work that way. She doesn't tell me she loves me. She doesn't tell me she's proud of me. She assumes I know and is uncomfortable if I bring such things up so, I don't. I have been blessed with some other mother figures that filled in the gaps. I hope my kids find such people to fill in their gaps. Being a mom is hard work. I know that now that I have kids of my own. I parent different than my mom did in hopes of getting a wonderful tribute when they are older. As for a wonderful tribute to my mom, I can say this: Thanks for trying your best! Most days I'm a happy, well adjusted, productive member of society and without my mom I wouldn't be!