After spending the last two hours of mind numbing health assessments for the insurance company, I am currently "supervising" my darling daughter doing the dishes, AT 945PM! This has become an almost daily battle with her and she is a master procrastinator! Here's Josie's top 5 current attempts at avoiding dishes and engaging in battle with mom!
1. I have never seen someone so young need to use the bathroom so much when it is time to do the dishes. She pees more than a woman having twins and only when she has to do the dishes. I have counted twelve trips to the rest room from the time that she started the dishes to the time that I told her she could no longer use the rest room until the dishes were done! Must be the water she isn't running when she is proclaiming how unfair it is that her only chore is doing the dishes that causes such bladder issues!
2. Three hours ago I learned that the dishwasher (that's as old as she is) has a plate warming feature! Imagine that, plate warming! Back in my day we called that the drying cycle and it did not impede our ability to unload the dishwasher and reload all the stuff that you were not planning on washing by hand. Why we would need a plate warmer when everyone eats cereal or pop tarts 12 hours later for breakfast is beyond me, but apparently the plate warmer feature can't be disturbed?
3. 8:45 and 9:45 are about the same time! Never mind that the girl is gifted in math and can add and subtract in her head faster than I can punch numbers in the calculator! The time space continuum is only disrupted when Josephine has to do the dishes!
4. Josie has testing next week! Really, state testing versus dishes? Next WEEK?! This impacts getting the dishes done tonight how? Yeah! She really couldn't answer that question either, but I can! It does not and it will not effect testing next week either! If testing is that important than said smarty pants daughter will make sure that the dishes are done before 8pm, the stated bed time that she has requested for next week. Oh and mom will remember that she requested such an early bed time!
5. Doing dishes is unfair labor practices because Josie's primary job is going to school and making good grades so she can go to Mercer! I like how she throws the old Alma Mater in there. Despite being informed that Josie will be paying for college all by herself and could probably use a skill such as dish washing to cover her $40,000 a year in tuition costs to go to Mercer, Josie feels that focusing solely on her academics is her best bet to becoming a Bear like mom.
I know that I will have to go put half the dishes that she is washing by hand back into the sink for her to redo because she half washed them thinking: One, no one would check and Two, mom wouldn't dare make her food in dirty bowls, pots or pans! She isn't without resources and has proposed on numerous occasions possible solutions to the dish dilema. Here are Josie's solutions to the daily dish battle:
1. Everyone take care of their own dishes.
2. Colin do the dishes
3. Mom do the dishes
4. Everyone can stop eating so much so no one will have to do the dishes
5. Hire a maid to do the dishes
At least she has some possible solutions to her avoidance behaviors, but her mother just won't fund or let Josie implement any of her solutions. Apparently doing dishes makes it a rough life, but the dish battle will wage on until 2018- the year Josephine graduates high school! Please wish her luck and pray for the avoidance of nuclear warfare from mom! Thanks!
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