Observant Kids

I don't feel well today! The change of weather from Tampa to Georgia, and running a half marathon yesterday has wiped me out. I'm runny and snotty figuratively and literally. It was also our first day back to school from a week break so, getting out of bed this morning wasn't easy.

By the time I got home tonight my children observed that I wasn't up to par. As all normal children do when mom is sick, they keep a low profile,  but I don't have normal children.  After they graciously let me have a long bath, Elijah demonstrated his new career choice of massage therapist on my back and calves. (We'll rent him out as he's learning, but you better book early because he's a pro). Stephen and Colin found two running magazines and Josie is being quiet! They all agreed mom should go to bed and they set up my resting place with a box of tissues, my phone, and the magazines. They even put the seizure/migraine detector cat on the bed to monitor me.

Pretty cool kids to observe some of mom's favorite things. Of course its awful quiet out there so this could of been a distraction technique, but for now I'm going with the "I have produced wonderful, observant, caring kids" fantasy!  Hey, did I mention I'm running a fever? I'm sure after a Benadryl induced coma my normal children will reappear!

I Need To Do Better

I've been in a funk lately.  I've been re examining my life, waiting on medical test and just trying to survive.  Currently, work and spider solitare take up most of my time. I'm not depressed, but I'm not living life to the fullest. I have migraines and epilipsey that limit me some but, I need to do better!

I have attempted to get myself motivated for work, for running, for life in general, but just haven't arrived at the place where I'm fully engaged in anything I'm doing. I just feel like at 38, I should be doing something fantastic!  I'm not sure what that is and friends and co workers keep telling me I should be impressed with  the stuff I do and have done. I know not everyone has a great husband,  or kids, or a home,or a PhD,  or a job but what now? What about the between big events? How do you search for the next chapter when you're not sure you're finished with the first? I have lots of questions that I need better answers for.

Tomorrow we leave for Tampa. I'll be running a half marathon that I have not trained properly for. It could be a long four hour walk, but at least the sun will be out and I'll have plenty of time to figure out how I can do better. Wish me luck!

Not Suppose To Be Here

When I was 20 the doctors thought I had uterine cancer, but the ultra sound revealed twenty nasty cysts and one that blinked.  The blinking one was Stephen, my oldest.  The doctors were surprised because he wasn't supposed to be there. Apparently,  no one informed him of the medical improbability of coexistence with that many cysts,  or he just really wasn't listening; either way Stephen's conception and difficult birth story were just the beginning of our journey with Stephen.

I love my son, I love all my kids, but parenting Stephen has not been the easiest task in the world. He's a good kid, but stubbornly independent and takes his life journey at his own pace. Potty training, talking, reading and driving have all frustratingly come at his pace and not mine. The fact that Stephen doesn't do what he's supposed to do, or be where he's suppose to be isn't always a bad thing.

This weekend he wasn't supposed to be in the finals of the region wrestling tournament, but he was.  He's battling fatigue, a cold and maintenance of his weight. He's been sick for a month and no one expected him to wrestle well. Stephen (in typical Stephen fashion) apparently wasn't informed of his underdog status, or wasn't listening again, either way he finished second.  He moves onto sectionals as a two seed Friday.

Parenting Stephen has humbled me and humiliated me, but it has also strengthened me to allow his siblings to arrive at things in their own time. Sometimes, being where everyone else is isn't where you're supposed to be, and Stephen's performance this weekend just goes to show that good things can happen even if your not supposed to be there!