Where Do I Get A Life?

Sitting at the soccer field today there were two women about my age discussing their summer plans.
"What is James doing the last week of June?  I need a friend to go to camp with Andrew in North Carolina."
"I can't afford another camp this summer!"
"Oh, I'd pay for James to go."
"That's very sweet of you, but the family is going to Paris for a couple of weeks, starting that week."
The two women then proceeded to discuss traveling to Paris, France with their respective family structures, like it was a common place thing to take a family of five to Paris, France for two weeks in the summer.  Little James will also be attending three stay away camps this summer too.  How do you get a life like that?

As I turned to go to my little station wagon, I noticed I was parked between these two women's SUV's.  There were nice private school stickers on the back of their windows.  Their cars were nice and clean.  There were not coke cans on the floor boards, or wrappers from hurried meals in the car to and from work/practices.  There was no dirt, or the splatters of dead bugs on their windshields because they were out of washing fluid.  These two women did not have sliver highlights showing because I'm sure they can afford for the hair dresser to color their hair more than twice a year. If I stopped in at their houses I'm sure that they have manicured lawns and clean houses because the yard man and housekeeper make sure everything is tidy.  Designer sunglasses and handbags sitting on the grass beside their 50.00 Eddie Bauer chairs and me with a Chick Fil A bag and my phone, catching a few minutes of Elijah's soccer game, before leaving to the every eight week luxury of having a professional cut my hair.  While the teams were warming up I sat there and listened to their conversation with a heavy heart.  These women were leading interesting lives, going places, they had stuff and charities they were raising money for and children who were doing great things.  They have parties and functions to attend that are not work related.

They could of left me alone and I could of listened jealous of their lives but Elijah made a save and then they started questioning me.  Where were we from? (Originally Maine)  What did I do? (Assistant Principal at a High School)  What did my husband do? (Drives a fork lift in a warehouse)  Was that a Mercer Sticker on your car? (Yes, all four of my degrees come from there)  How many kids do you have? (Five)  Is Elijah the oldest? (No he's number 4, the oldest graduates high school in a couple of weeks)  Do you find working and taking care of children difficult? (It has it's moments)  I bet you enjoy your summers off?  (No, I work in the summer. AP's and Volleyball coaches don't get the summer off)  Won't you get to travel somewhere this summer? (I'll be taking some students to DC for National History Day Competition, but other than that probably not)  Camps? (For the kids possibly if I can find a way to squeeze some money from a stone).  I'm sure these questions were not meant to make me feel bad, or inadequate.  The ladies were just trying to converse with an opposing team.  Perhaps they were trying to make me feel welcome.  They were very impressed with Elijah's skills, but they only left me questioning my own life and value in this world.

Where have I gone wrong?  Why is my life not filled with travel, adventure, meaningful contributions to humanity?  Why are my kids not star athletes, gifted musicians, or academic top ten?  Usually I just pass off such comparisons to other people's lives as I have taken the road less traveled and it has made all the difference, but over the last couple days I'm no longer sure about that conviction.  Perhaps its the reality that my children are starting to leave the nest.  My oldest graduates high school in a couple weeks.  He's choosing his own path.  He's opting out of college, taking a part time job at Wal-Mart, and waiting for an opening with the sheriffs department in September.  He didn't take senior photos, and until his grandmother threatened to kick him out of her house if he did not participate in graduation ceremonies, he wasn't going to do that either. His classmates are going to school, winning scholarships and posting pictures on social media thanking their parents.  Their parents are posting those proud parent pictures and touting their wonderful children's virtues.  My oldest has no such inclination and will allow me one (maybe two if I'm quick on the button) photos graduation night. 

Here's the road less traveled for yah!  I get up, I go to work.  If I'm particularly productive I'll run before work.  I help teachers and kids when I can.  I bake (although I'm pretty sure the lemon pound cake in the oven right now will be another disaster, as it is overflowing all over the stove).  I write blog posts that on average 30 people read.  I pay the bills.  I feed my family.  I have three cars, two with over 100,000 miles on them and all in some state of disrepair.  I have two houses.  One we live in that is a mess and one we can't sell, or live in.  I have five relatively, healthy kids that I hope will become happy, productive citizens who remember to call their mom and come to Sunday dinner.  I married my best friend who loves me despite the speeding tickets, the high probability that I will lose my keys for the 100th time, and the constant self doubt I have that I'm good enough for anything I do.  My life is not exciting.  The most exotic place I have traveled to is Quebec City and that was in 8th grade.  Those two women with their charity work, and cars and vacation plans are throwing me into a midlife crisis, if only I could afford one!

I Should of Stayed in Bed and Read a Book

Some days the alarm goes off at 5 am and you know that all efforts to be productive and positive are an effort in futility.  A better idea would be to stay in bed and read a book, have the dog/husband/kids bring you cookies and cokes, take a nice long bath, then go to bed and try again tomorrow. Instead of getting up today, I should of kept my unhappy, unproductive butt in the bed and read Game of Thrones, or Fault In Our Stars, or any book that would take between 12 and 15 hours to read.

I decided to be a grown up and make a stab at being productive and positive.  That's the difference between children and grown ups isn't it? Realizing you have responsibilities and rising to the occasion, even when what you really want to do is hide away in a good book? I knew waking up this morning that living, breathing, talking, people were going to be more than my brain was going to handle in a socially accepted way, but up I got. I showered and shaved my legs! That's both productive and positive so I should of stopped while I was ahead! I even put on my green dress, that's probably a little too tight, so one of my students could have someone to coordinate their outfit with like their peers. That's two points if we are keeping track of being productive and positive! Unfortunately,  those other living, breathing, talking people were expecting a lot more productive and positive than I had left, and I had not even left the house yet!

Got to work and it's the last day of state testing! I'm counting that as point three on the productive and positive score tallies, by the way. Administration of said state testing to nervous seniors felt neither productive, or positive so, no points there.  Lecturing tenth graders on the importance of doing well on a practice SAT and taking challenging classes was not productive and their feedback was not positive.  I did manage to get the guidance people an accommodation list, which was productive but not positive.  No points earned, but by then snuggling up with War and Peace was looking real positive!  Lunch sucked! Two behavior referrals, and then a two and a half hour meeting about athletics where I was the only female. After two and a half hours I'm past the point of productive or positive so, no points earned again. Since I was supposed to meet with my teachers in the time period of my impromptu athletic meeting, and my teachers sat in my office and waited, I would say that was positive, but not probably not productive for any of us. No points earned but I'm buying my teacher's donuts tomorrow for following directions, so that will be a positive..for tomorrow.

I got in the car to go home and thought Elijah's soccer practice was at 6:30, but it really was at 5:30. Josie made me a cold hotdog that was gross, but it was food I  could eat in the car. Our conversation in the car about finishing what we start was productive,  but apparently Elijah should of stayed in bed with a book today too! He had little positive to say about humans as a whole and asked why some people go to the trouble of breathing! That was a good question I could not give a good, socially accepted response to so, I didn't.  Now I sit in the car, avoiding bugs and wind to wait for Elijah's soccer practice to end. I'm trying to be productive by writing this post, but pretty sure I have failed miserably at being positive. Elijah suggested if I wanted to end the day on a productive and positive note I should take him for ice cream after practice. Since staying in bed with that book isn't an option, ice cream here we come!

The Flying Pig

Elvis and I went for a hilly run!

For a couple years now I have been looking at Runner's World's advertisements for the Flying Pig Marathon in Cincinnati, Ohio.  This year I ran it.  I should have paid closer attention to the elavation map, because if I had I'm pretty sure I would not have been so excited to run this race.

There were over 12,000 registered for the half.  The corrals were well marked but a little small, especially in the last corral where I and several walkers hung out.  They call the corrals PIG PENS and that's exactly what they felt like. If this is how pigs feel before the slaughter than I feel a little guilty about my love of bacon!  There was lots of chatter about how hilly the course was that I could of done without that morning, and I wished I had not forgot my gum, but other than that things went well

The view from the last pig pen!

Still waiting to start!

The 6:30 am start was early, but it was also nice to be done and back at the hotel before lunch.  Starting near the Ohio river and in between two sports team stadium's was pretty cool too.  There were lots of people to cheer you on throughout the course. Every couple of miles there were bands and there were signs everywhere.  The community did a great job supporting the runners, even us slow ones in the back!

One of the many bridges I ran over

Learning that bridge=hill

 The course was hilly.  The first hill was the first bridge over the Ohio River into a cute Kentucky town.  I'm sure the town would of been cuter if I wasn't so tired from dodging the potholes on the bridge and the hill to get to Kentucky.  The hills for the first four miles were just teasers to what miles 6-9 had in store.  At mile 6 you start the ascent up to Eden Park.  This hill was huge and just when you thought you were done, you'd turn a corner to only see more hill.  At least the view from the top was beautiful and I was very thankful for the band and water station up there!  Now why I had to look at my time at the 10K mark going up hill eludes me, but I was only 5 minutes behind my estimated time.  Which was pretty good since I don't run hills and was dealing with stomach issues!

The view from the top!

Bob Platt can kiss it!

Water stations and porta potties were plentiful until mile 10.  Why oh why did I pass up the mile 10 porta pottie I'll never know, but it made for a slow and sloshy three miles to the finish.  At mile 11 you start to go down hill.  A big down hill!  By now my feet were protesting and I could feel the blisters,  One for each foot.  I haven't had blisters in a long time, but I assume its from the swelling and up and down on the hills and sliding around in my shoes.  See there is a valid reason why I don't run hills!

The finish was lovely!  There were people lined up everywhere and they were loud!  We got a mylar blanket, even though it was close to 70 when I finished and a cool two sided medal with a flying pig.  There was plenty of food and water at the end of the race.  I wish that they had coke, but I was happy to see a short line at the porta potties!

Adoring fans at the finish!

What's For Dinner

I like to bake.  I like to cook and I like to try new things.  Taking these things into account it should not be a daily battle to answer the question, "What's for dinner?"  There's plenty of good material to choose from on the internet.  I even have a whole Pinetrest board dedicated to food to assist with deciding what's for dinner.  Why does this daily question have to be so hard?

We used to do menu planning for the month.  That helped when I was coaching and my husband's work schedule dictated that he started supper.  There is only so much concession stand food one can eat before your stomach just says NO!  Now when we used to menu plan for the month, each of the kids got a day of the week to pick a meal.  With five kids, that only left two days for me to plan for.  That wasn't too bad, but now the children have tired of menu planning and no longer get excited about assiting with the task.  They will on occasion fight and argue about what we should have for dinner, but to actually plan out a meal that doesn't require one to dirty every dish in the house, or eat out of a paper bag is not in their skill set yet.  Their favorite meal to request is fried chicken, home made mac and cheese, home made crescent rolls and home made cake for dessert.  Who has time for that on a Tuesday after work, and before soccer practice?

Many people ask their husband to assist with meal planning, but my husband isn't really all that picky.  I usually get a whatever you want response.  Well, if I didn't have to cook it I'd like roasted potatoes, home made bread, steak and chocolate moose with a chocolate graham cracker crust for dinner.  Since I'm the one who usually has to cook, calling for pizza looks really good!  Eating out could be a solution.  Problem one with that solution is there are not many restaurants to select from in our area.  Problem two with that solution is we are not rich!

So, if you read this blog (and I hope someone other than my husband is reading this blog) I'm open to suggestions about What's for dinner?

The homemade cake my kids would like for supper

Kids favorite meal minus homemade bread

Vacation

Where I Should Be- At The BEACH

It's currently my spring break.  Many people have littered social media with all the cool things that they are doing during their holiday.  Lots of trips to Disney and the Beach.  Special days with children engaging in activities such as mani/pedi's, fishing, eating out, visiting with out of state relatives you get the idea.. fun and family! So, what do you do when your break doesn't align with the rest of your family and friends and well, you're broke?  You could sit at home elbow deep into an Oreo package feeling sorry for yourself, (definitely not good for your diet, or migraines- trust me I've tried) or check out the list of things I've done during this break in the absence of family and the beach!

1. Troll Social Media for people in your same situation. Beware, you'll also find those friends who are on your dream vacation too!

2. Clean your house!  Not exciting, but at least my home will smell clean and be disinfected until the kids get home on the bus.

3. Bake cookies for said germ carrying children, and you know if you give a kid a cookie then they'll request three other varieties to be ready when they get off the bus tomorrow!

4. Create a new playlist for your next half marathon!  In a total poor planning moment, and a major race director not taking my spring break into consideration, next weekend I'll be running the Flying Pig in Cincinnati.  My Albany playlist wasn't long enough for the entire half, so I'm working on a longer one for this race.  It's also a ten hourish drive so I'm taking music suggestions I can sing while I drive that may, or may not annoy the heck out of my husband (depends on traffic)!

5. Sleep in, sorta of.  Mom duties don't end because mom is the only one on break.  Wake up call is still at 6am for the kids, but it is nice to go back and sleep until 8am.  Of course this plays havoc with my carefully constructed sleep schedule for migraines and Hashimoto's but you only live once!

6. Watch daytime television and know why you work.  Really, how many times can you watch Maury and know "you are not the father!"

7. Tackle that mountain of laundry that never gets done!  Its a battle that is never won until the kids move out, but I thought I had cleaned every piece of laundry in the house until I opened the kids' bathroom door.  If you don't open the door and pretend you never saw the mountain can you still claim victory?

8. Go for a run and not worry about getting home in time for practice, or groceries, or an appointment, or in time to get ready for work and not be late.  Of course forgetting that you have not run in warm temperatures since last summer and coming home a salty, dehydrated mess is part of the vacation fun.

9. Organize the closet.  Not fun or exciting, but Goodwill will get some donations and when I do have money then I can buy some more clothes.  I will be going to a race expo next weekend and a girl can never have too many running shoes or running attire!

10. Relax!  This is the hardest for me to do.  I like a schedule and lots of activity.  The idea of just sitting on the couch with the dog and vegetating goes against every fiber in my nature, but under husband's orders that's what I did yesterday.  The migraine helped with keeping me off my feet and the horrible day time television helped with inducing some much needed napping.

Rescue

This is Noah the rescue dog. He's in training as a migraine/seizure dog. He alerts by laying on top of you. He will also stand in front of you if he feels something is going on. At times this is annoying,  but Elijah and I not very good about slowing down before migraines attack. Noah on the other hand has no problem taking it easy and getting in your way if you need it. 

Sometimes we all need someone, or some dog, whose willing to rescue you when you're too busy, or unwilling to rescue yourself. My husband has to work so, he's not always available to rescue me. Noah on the other hand, his job is to watch and alert. He's technically a "working" dog and he does his job very well!

Now Noah is pretty spoiled since leaving the animal shelter.  He sleeps on the couch when he's not "working" and acts like a human most of the time. I'm pretty sure if there was a way for him to sit at the dinner table he would.

Noah may have needed to be rescued, but he's rescued Elijah and I on numerous occasions. He stands watch, alerts, and comforts when migraines and seizures attack. Not every rescue dog does what Noah does, but you'll never know when who, or what you rescue,  will rescue you!

Queen Josephine Turns 14!

Josie sedated after her first surgery.

The Queen has turned 14!  Okay, Queen Josephine turned 14 on Thursday.  As I'm baking her chocolate cake for her birthday party I've been looking at some photos of our little Queen.  Her existence into this world did not come easy, as you can see from the picture.  She was early and minutes after she was born her lung collapsed.  She was rushed to neonatal where she spent a few weeks due to her lung collapsing and fluid in her other lung.  While the NICU was trying desperately to save her life, the Queen would pull out her tubes whenever she was not sedated.  It was almost three weeks before we even knew what her eyes looked liked due to the sedation because she wasn't cooperative with the NICU staff or equipment, but they admired her fighting spirit!

Breathing on her own and chunky cheeks

The first year of the Queen's life she had pneumonia so many times that she had to be placed on specialized formula from England.  Despite being sick more than she was well, she hit all her milestones and was a happy baby!  I waited years to have a little girl to dress up and fix her hair, but like with everything concerning the Queen, she did things in her own time.  Poor girl didn't have a full head of hair until she was almost three!  Speech issues due to funny formations in the back of her throat didn't hinder her communicating with the world that she was here to stay and in charge!

I parent her different than the boys.  It probably has something to do with the fact that she is my only girl.  My husband will be very sweet and doting, I on the other hand can be very demanding and pushy.  My expectations for how she behaves, how she dresses and most importantly how she becomes a strong woman in the end drive many of our interactions.  Raising a Queen over a follower can be a grey hair experience.  Trust me I have the proof on my head. It's not always easy looking in a mirror and bumping two large personalities.  I'm sure that the boys are entertained by the fireworks at times.

 People assume that she takes after me.  If being bossy and stubborn are inherited traits, she got them honestly from yours truly.  Lots of people say she's a mini me, but that is not really true.  Queen Josephine is her own person! It is true that we share many of the same interests, but she participates in the world a lot easier than I do.  Like a true Queen, she really doesn't care about public opinion.  She does her own thing.  Her selection of friends in eclectic and not many people stay strangers for long.  Of all my kids, she works the hardest for everything that she gets!  School is not easy for her like it was for me.  It takes her a long time to read and she's a little bit of a perfectionist (I think it's a requirement for Queens). The Queen is confident that she has much to offer the world (and so is her mom)!  Time goes by very fast, but I'm excited to see the kingdom Queen Josephine creates for herself over the next 14 years!

Easter ten years ago!

The Queen at 14!

Flashback!