Observant Kids

I don't feel well today! The change of weather from Tampa to Georgia, and running a half marathon yesterday has wiped me out. I'm runny and snotty figuratively and literally. It was also our first day back to school from a week break so, getting out of bed this morning wasn't easy.

By the time I got home tonight my children observed that I wasn't up to par. As all normal children do when mom is sick, they keep a low profile,  but I don't have normal children.  After they graciously let me have a long bath, Elijah demonstrated his new career choice of massage therapist on my back and calves. (We'll rent him out as he's learning, but you better book early because he's a pro). Stephen and Colin found two running magazines and Josie is being quiet! They all agreed mom should go to bed and they set up my resting place with a box of tissues, my phone, and the magazines. They even put the seizure/migraine detector cat on the bed to monitor me.

Pretty cool kids to observe some of mom's favorite things. Of course its awful quiet out there so this could of been a distraction technique, but for now I'm going with the "I have produced wonderful, observant, caring kids" fantasy!  Hey, did I mention I'm running a fever? I'm sure after a Benadryl induced coma my normal children will reappear!

I Need To Do Better

I've been in a funk lately.  I've been re examining my life, waiting on medical test and just trying to survive.  Currently, work and spider solitare take up most of my time. I'm not depressed, but I'm not living life to the fullest. I have migraines and epilipsey that limit me some but, I need to do better!

I have attempted to get myself motivated for work, for running, for life in general, but just haven't arrived at the place where I'm fully engaged in anything I'm doing. I just feel like at 38, I should be doing something fantastic!  I'm not sure what that is and friends and co workers keep telling me I should be impressed with  the stuff I do and have done. I know not everyone has a great husband,  or kids, or a home,or a PhD,  or a job but what now? What about the between big events? How do you search for the next chapter when you're not sure you're finished with the first? I have lots of questions that I need better answers for.

Tomorrow we leave for Tampa. I'll be running a half marathon that I have not trained properly for. It could be a long four hour walk, but at least the sun will be out and I'll have plenty of time to figure out how I can do better. Wish me luck!

Not Suppose To Be Here

When I was 20 the doctors thought I had uterine cancer, but the ultra sound revealed twenty nasty cysts and one that blinked.  The blinking one was Stephen, my oldest.  The doctors were surprised because he wasn't supposed to be there. Apparently,  no one informed him of the medical improbability of coexistence with that many cysts,  or he just really wasn't listening; either way Stephen's conception and difficult birth story were just the beginning of our journey with Stephen.

I love my son, I love all my kids, but parenting Stephen has not been the easiest task in the world. He's a good kid, but stubbornly independent and takes his life journey at his own pace. Potty training, talking, reading and driving have all frustratingly come at his pace and not mine. The fact that Stephen doesn't do what he's supposed to do, or be where he's suppose to be isn't always a bad thing.

This weekend he wasn't supposed to be in the finals of the region wrestling tournament, but he was.  He's battling fatigue, a cold and maintenance of his weight. He's been sick for a month and no one expected him to wrestle well. Stephen (in typical Stephen fashion) apparently wasn't informed of his underdog status, or wasn't listening again, either way he finished second.  He moves onto sectionals as a two seed Friday.

Parenting Stephen has humbled me and humiliated me, but it has also strengthened me to allow his siblings to arrive at things in their own time. Sometimes, being where everyone else is isn't where you're supposed to be, and Stephen's performance this weekend just goes to show that good things can happen even if your not supposed to be there!

Nobody Said This Was Easy

I've been a parent now for 17 years. I have been a coach for 25 years. I have been a teacher for 16 years. These three facts have provided me ample opportunities to work with and observe children and parent teams in the teen years. I'm here to tell you the late teen years make the terrible twos look easy! This, from a lady who teaches teens with learning and behavior issues all day probably won't instill great faith for parents of younger children. Folks, parenting a teen isn't easy!

I have birthed some pretty cool kids. They bathe daily, go to school, don't do drugs or drink, haven't been arrested so, why do I feel like I'm fighting an uphill battle to be a good mom? First, my oldest hates school and doesn't achieve anywhere near his potential. Rewards, punishments, threats, and flat out knock down drag out fights have not pushed his academic performance towards a more positive direction. Our agreed upon truce is he'll pass his classes and if he does happen to fail one it will be in the range that he can recover the credit for free. Second, said oldest child will not take it easy at wrestling practice. We went to the doctor's yesterday and that's what she told him. Hey, I'm happy he's found something he loves and will work hard at but really wish it wasn't so physically demanding. Third, all three of my teens alternate between wanting me to go away and being all knowing mom who can anticipate and n provide for all needs. Hey, these teen things don't come with warning lables of when its okay for a hug, or comment, or opinion or just being present. This constant on again, off again mom is cool, mom is the worst mom ever thing is crazy!

So why isn't parenting teens easy? That whole free will thing seems to be interfering with what I think is best for my dear, sweet baby. It was easier when they just cooed and smiled at everything you did. I have succeeded in raising exactly what I set out to raise: strong, independent, self sufficient, strongly opinionated people. Be careful what you wish for because parenting it can be hard work!

I'm Sick

Okay, I'm sick! There! I admit that most days I'm sick. Migraines, arthritis, asthma... anyone of these three are legitimate reasons to be under the weather, but the recent addition of stomach issues has brought me to the conclusion that I'm sick and have been for about a month. It has also brought me to the conclusion that the meds I  take for my chronic conditions could be the root cause of my stomach issues! Through most of my cronic conditions I continue to live a pretty full life. I run, I work, I bake, I attempt to keep up with the demands of our busy family, but stomach pain with everything I eat has cut into my pretty full life!

My stomach is effecting my life to such an extent that I have contemplated giving up coke a cola, the base of my diet for the last twenty-five years! Today, I bought gluten free sandwhich bread mix, which is a huge deal considering bread and I have had a love affair all my life! Fried foods (another love), chocolate (who doesn't love chocolate?), cheese, milk, bacon, ice cream, and now my go to food pizza, all cause gastro upset! What the hell do I eat that won't cause gastro upset?

I don't have a clue, and since I've lived all my life with the comforting presence of really good food (both cooking it and eating it), I'm conceding that I'm sick! They say the first step is admitting you have a problem, so here goes....eating causes me nausea, cramping, bloating and frequent trips to the rest room. There, now that I have admitted I'm sick I would kindly appreciate if these gastro issues would go away!

A Day at the Primary Care Doctor

I have been battling vertigo for two weeks and today the vertigo is so bad and the pressure in my chest and back of my head warranted a trip to the doctor (or so says web md). My husband called the primary care doctor who said come on in.  This is a cheaper (read 55.00 copay instead of 150.00 copay of the emergency room) option than going to the er or waiting days for a nero appointment. What today has been, is a waste of time at best, and a effort in frustration and incompetence at worst!

We left the house at one. There were a few people waiting in the waiting room.  Two, twenty somethings were working the front desk. One was working the phone and the other was taking insurance cards and payments. Twenty minutes earlier the girl on the phone talked to my husband, now the girl at the desk was surprised to see me.  Did I mention my head is on a tilt a world ride while I'm standing waiting for the girl to pull my "file", otherwise known as hitting the key on the computer while my vital information pulls up? I was expecting to only have to go to the window once, sign the forms, give my copay and then sit in an uncomfortable chair, while a new room spins! Yeah, not so much.  One hour after arriving, I was called back up to the window to sign a privacy form and an agreement to pay. I had to remind the twenty something that she needed to take the copay, but at this point I think they should be paying me.  Don't get me wrong, those two girls were having a great time at work, and I'm all for having fun at work, when you are indeed working. These two were definitely not working! They did manage to turn the tv from some lifetime movie to HGTV so, I guess they weren't completely incompetent?

I finally got past the waiting room (1:45 minutes after signing in). There were two cna's? Whose name tags said back office staff that took me to the examining room. One filled out another piece of paper while the other one took my blood pressure on top of my clothes. Wasn't too surprised that it came up at 120 over 70, 20 points higher than usual.our  I'm not sure why it took two people to complete such a task, but it did.  My husband was very impressed with my expansive paper file, which must have been the reason for the almost two hour wait to get to an exam room.  The back office staff left and we waited another fifteen minutes for the nurse practitioner to come in and I started my watch.  The nurse practitioner looked over the sheet and asked a few questions.  She looked in my ears, down my throat and up my nose.  Guess what?  They all looked good, minus a little redness in my throat that wasn't bothering me.  She didn't listen to my heart, despite asking about the pressure in my chest.  She didn't check my glands.  She spent exactly five minutes and 48 seconds in the exam room.  The reason for my vertigo?  I'm getting old and might have some uneven congestion in my ear.  The treatment?  A steroid shot and a prescription for Dramamine (which the insurance company refused to pay for at the pharmacy)!

Now, maybe I have been spoiled by my neurologist office that runs like a fine tuned machine, and the longest I have had to wait is 15 minutes; or maybe I've been spoiled by my dentist office that not only provides coffee, tea and water in the waiting area, but also gives patients updates on wait times. To say I'm disgusted with my primary care doctor, that I have been seeing for the last ten years, would be an understatement!  I now understand why emergency rooms are packed.  If medical care is going to be expensive, and you're going to have to wait, then at least your in a place where they will run some tests when you complain of chest pains and indicate that you have other medical conditions like heart issues, asthma etc. For a semi-control freak like my self, with a knack for research, and grew up in doctors' offices and hospitals, I just wish I could call the doctor and tell him what's wrong and he could email me a treatment plan with whatever prescriptions I need.  Less exposure to germs, less frustration with incompetent office workers and a much better use of my time!  Maybe I'll send my suggestions to Congress to include with their debates and funding for Obama Care!

A Dizzy Day

I have spent the last couple of weeks battling vertigo,  really, really bad vertigo! My days feel like I'm on a tilt a world and I'm never getting off.  In fact I have spent a good bit of time laying on my side and gripping whatever solid object is nearby, including the random child who walks by wanting to know when I'm getting up to play, make dinner, transport etc.

I had big plans for break too. Lesson plans for all of second semester, baking up a storm, running thirty miles, cleaning, just all the stuff you don't get to do when your working. I didn't get much of that done. I baked...some.  I ran.... some with a partner (otherwise known as a babysitter and when I ran by myself my husband had to pick me up twice). I planned.... some (I got a unit on Europe planned and now just need to create the support materials).  Other than that the only thing I did get done was be a wrestling mom, and I have the video and brusies on my hands from clapping to prove it!

Today, I had a root canal (yeah something crossed off my to do list) and my wrestler had a state qualifer that I couldn't miss. I drove the boys over to the school, left during weigh ins and returned back to the meet after the root canal. I made it back to the meet, but the up and down of the dentist chair made my vertigo a thousand times worse than it was all week. I spent thirty minutes laying down on a bleacher until the tilt a world in my head calmed down.  My mouth was a little sore, but the novacaine held the pain in check so I could show my vocal support for the team. The boys weren't at their best either, but despite the dizziness, the root canal and some of the boys wrestling sick, the team was region runner up and will go to state Thursday! Proud of the boys, but proud of me too that despite the dizziness I was able to get some things done this break. I might not have got all the things done, but I was present and able to share some special memories with the important people in my life and that's a qualifer for a state championship in itself!