1 Month On Thyroid Meds

It has been one month since my new doctor prescribed synthroid to treat my Hashimoto's.  It's an attempt to shrink the growths on my thyroid and level out my blood work to a more normal level.  She did prescribe it with the warning that will take up to a month before I see any real results.  When you have been battling with your thyroid for almost a year and a half, one month really isn't a long time to wait to see results.  Unless, your tired of feeling tired all the time, gaining weight, dry skin, moody, losing hair and stomach issues, then a month seems like forever.

I have religiously woken up at 5:06 AM everyday and taken my pill with 6oz of water.  I wait an hour to eat which is what is recommended to get the full effect of the medication.  That means waiting to have my morning coke and supplements until we are ready to leave the house for school.  I forget to eat breakfast more than I remember to eat it with the new schedule. I have maintained my sleep schedule and tried to avoid foods that I'm sensitive to.

The results after one month?  Well, probably not the magic pill I had hoped it was going to be.  I have lost six pounds and the swelling/bloating in my joints and face has started to come down. My pants fit and I don't have to go through everything in my closet, every morning, to find something that doesn't make me look fat and bloated.  My hair is still falling out and my skin still requires copious amounts of lotion to not drive me nuts with dry, scaly, itchy skin.  My stomach issues have been hit or miss, but probably more hit than miss.  The week before my period was particularly rough emotionally, but it was a busy week with way too much going on.  Everyone was cranky so, I'm not sure if that is a side effect of the meds, or just a difficult time.  Towards the end of January blood will be drawn to check my levels and it could take up to 6 months for the growths to start shrinking (which will be checked in a year).

I'll keep you posted on my battle with Hashimoto's.  I have some plans for 2015 so stay tuned!

New Doctor Same Hashimoto's

Today was exhausting and financially draining. Today I went to a new endocrinologist.  A doctor close to home. I didn't really expect too much since previously I was seeing one of the highest ranked doctors in the Atlanta area, and he didn't do squat! At least the new doctor was a Mercer grad so, I felt I could safely assume she was educated. The new doctor was also a woman so, I was hoping that she would understand the demands of working and being a mom. Just in case she didn't, I brought the endless question asking Elijah for backup. Elijah also had an eye appointment later that day.

The new doctor was dressed how I would like to dress if I had the money and the energy to take that good care of myself. Nice watch,  classy jewelry and a manicure that was not done by an 11 year old boy, who asks a lot of questions. I have been told that this doctor has a thyroid condition herself. Looking at her you couldn't tell and that's what I want. We shook hands, made introductions and she told me she reviewed my previous records. There was the listening to my chest that all doctors do, and then she felt my thyroid. That was about it. I thought here we go again, slam bam, keep it moving and pay your copay. Elijah asked her if that was all she got paid to do? There wasn't a response back.

The doctor jotted some notes on her laptop and then informed me I needed a yearly ultrasound to assess and monitor the growths on my thyroid. I also needed updated blood work because the previous doctor didn't run the full panel that she likes to run. Unlike my previous endocrinologist,  I was taken immediately for an ultrasound and blood work was completed in the office. She explained that it would take a couple days for the blood work to come back, but they'd have the ultrasound results today. I figured 3 months later I'd find out the results, or get a phone call telling me I was good for another three months. The ultrasound was completed and I was shocked when the doctor came in to watch the ultrasound and reviewed it with me right there!

The verdict, the growth on my thyroid is 10% bigger than last year. When my blood work comes back she'll decide on a medication, and hopefully it will stop the growth, or shrink the growth, and throw my Hashimoto's into remission. Happy day!

Now that I was done with the doctor,  it was Elijah's turn. Elijah, under impressed with watching a thyroid ultrasound and that there was no hysteria with drawing my blood,  was eager to show his skills off to the eye doctor.  No child has ever epically failed an eye exam as bad as Elijah did today.  Second row of an eye chart anyone? He only started to complain last week so, I thought for once I was on top of things.

The eye doctor and Elijah debated about taking multi vitamins and then he said, "Dude,  you failed and your getting glasses!" "Cool!" Elijah responded. There were a couple questions about Elijah's sensitivity to light and computer work hours. Elijah responded, "like I'm 11, I don't get paid for computer work!" By the time we were done with all the fancy equipment,  fitting and lenses, 353.00 will allow Elijah to see clearly now that all my money is gone!

I'll Never Be A Good Band Parent

My white girl on the drum line!

Today was my first band competition as a band parent.  I am not designed to be a band mom.  A wrestling mom, a soccer mom, a volleyball mom and a track mom yes, but this band mom thing is probably not going to be something I'm good at!  I would have had a better chance at looking like a supportive parent, who was enjoying themselves at Zeke's math meet this morning (and I despise math)!  Please don't think I don't like the arts because that just isn't true.  I love music and I help sponsor the play for our school (which will be a musical this year). I've sat at many a chorus concert and many a band concert over my years as a teacher/parent. I enjoy hearing our band play, but this notion of competition band eludes me.

There were skimpy dance/flag girl outfits on too many girls that should not me wearing sequined spandex (it will only stretch so far).  There was heavy makeup and matching hair of same said girls, to which I can only comment that some parents must be paying a fortune in fake hair and spray tanning (I intended to do NEVER EVER do either).  I don't remember any of our drum majors in high school wearing go go boots with a skirt that barely covered their butt, and almost showed what type of undergarments said drum major was wearing on the band stand thingy. 

See, I don't even know the terminology associated with a band competition!  I thought that an excellent rating would be a good thing, but apparently anything less than a superior is BAD, VERY BAD!  I do like the fire baton thingies (which I was informed by a REAL band parent that they were not called fire baton thingies).  There is the potential for excitement with the fire batons.  Our band director said I would not be getting any fire baton thingies because I would be dangerous with such things. He says the same thing when I play with the drum sticks too, but they don't catch on fire when I play on the drums!  The closest I'm getting to fire anything is if I burn the cookies, or snacks, that I bring for the band kids, which is also apparently not done because band kids should eat out of the concession stand.  (OUR band kids seem to like the cookies so I'll continue to go against the grain with that one!) 

The number one reason I'll never be a good band parent is because band competitions seem to harbor a sexist and racists culture. and contradicting that culture is not well received.  I have little patience for such things in athletics, and in a gym with a couple 100 people I can be really loud about stupid racial or sexist comments made (especially to my kids).  Our band is very small (like 12 kids small, 15 kids small on a good day).  Instead of bigger bands being encouraging about our kids taking the field, they were laughing and talking.  The band that sat behind us today was particularly bad with their comments.  The flute girl behind me was particularly bad.  "Why are they even wasting our time with this band!  THEY'RE A BLACK BAND with one white girl in the band.  What is she doing there?  I think she plays the clarinet or something?"  Okay, at this point I was ready to turn around and slap the nasty flute player with one of those fire baton thingies, but I'm an assistant principal and people usually frown on such things.  Since none of her band chaperons thought to shut her up, (or at least move her away from our two fans (Elijah and I).  The flute player could of moved onto another topic, but she just couldn't let go of the white girl thing.  Keep in mind that I spent thirty minutes braiding Josie's hair for her band hat thing prior to our band taking the field so, I'm not sure what the flute girl was thinking with the comment that I couldn't ignore. "That white girl must be confused going to that school playing clarinet!" With all the southern charm I could manage I replied "Sweetheart, the white girl in OUR band is on the drum line!"  The flute girl then replied ""Well, she must be really confused because girls don't play on the drum line!"  Now, there were lots of things I could of said, and trust me the thought crossed my mind.  How did I respond (because we all know the girl who played hockey and baseball couldn't let that type of comment go)?  No honey, she's not confused, she talented!  Otherwise they'd have her play the flute!  Flute girl's response "That's RUDE!"  Then she finally moved!

So, you see I'll never be a good band parent!  Apparently, I'm RUDE!  I'm loud too so, just watch out at the next band competition.  If I'm a bad band parent, then I intend to be the very best BAD band parent there is.  I have like the next 8 years to practice because Elijah is auditioning for the drum line too!  Fire baton thingies and the betting of how much sequined spandex can stretch shouldn't be the only entertainment at a band competition!

Apparently my band kids don't get band competitions either!

Rash Refocus

Hard to see but angry rash!

 I have found myself more and more being angry and frustrated with the condition of my life.  Perhaps because I am turning 40 in October, or perhaps because I just have too much on my plate that I'm not all that interested in eating.  Angry and frustrated sums up how I have been feeling for about a month!  There's the typical physical stuff that goes along with the Hashimoto's (fatigue, muscle aches, stomach issues, and clumps of hair falling out).  There's the typical stuff of being an assistant principal (unhappy parents, unhappy kids, and unhappy teachers).  There's the typical mom stuff (checking grades, chores, feedings, cleaning, transporting and suporting).  THERE'S TOO MUCH STUFF!

New haircut!

My body has not reacted well to there being all this stuff and frankly, I have done a very poor job of making sure that I'm taking care of myself.  I haven't run since school started.  My diet currently consists of processed food, take out and coke.  Last weekend, I went to the ER for stomach pains which turned out to be an UTI and stomach infection.  This weekend I am battling an angry rash on my feet and legs! Enough is enough!  I read on lots of blogs and lots of people tell me "You need to take care of yourself!"  You would think that someone with a PhD would know how to take care of themselves, but if I'm listening to my body, the answer is NO!  So, it's time to regroup and refocus!

Today, I went for a haircut and got my eyebrows waxed! Took a selfie to remember the style that will not be possible Sunday morning when I try to do it myself, but at least I was cute today!

Mini pumpkin pies!

I have made the decision to stop worrying about the scale!  I'm going to make a concentrated effort to eat real food and food I ENJOY!  Despite some caring co workers and friends who keep suggesting gluten free and paleo diets as a cure for what ails me, I'll be eating food that is not processed but tastey!  I will be baking and cooking whenever I can because it taste good and I enjoy doing it!  It also makes my house smell good! Don't you wish you could smell the pumpkin pies and homemade bread too?

Crafty!

I have also made the decision to work less at things I'm not enjoying!  I work like a dog most days, and go to bed exhausted!  Most days I feel I did not accomplish ANYTHING!  This is where a great deal of my anger and frustration comes from and that's about to change.  When I look around at school, there are plenty of students and grown ups not working like me.  They're not panic stricken about completing their TO DO LIST.  They're enjoying themselves and doing things that they like to do!  In an effort to be more like other people (more fun, less work), I did a craft.  I will be watching football!  I will be watching Blacklist and Outlander!  I'm even planning a long run tomorrow!

So, a rash all over my feet, the feet that keep me going from task to task has promoted me to refocus my time and energy more on things I find enjoyment in and less on working!

You Don't Go Home With Them

I have been coaching since I was 15 and I'll be 40 in October.  I am not the best coach. I am not the worst coach. I enjoy working with kids. I enjoy the sports I coach. Tonight was not a night I enjoyed. This is not going to be one of those uplifting stories about the great lessons being part of an athletic team can teach you. This is not going to be one of those stories where the athletes rise above adversity. It is going to be one of those stories that is more common than anyone is willing to admit. If you don't want to know how ugly it can get with youth sports stop reading now!

I coach a volleyball team this year.  These girls have never touched a volleyball prior to this summer with the exception of one girl. My daughter is the one girl with any experience.  She's the youngest on the team, and most days the only white girl on the team.  She is a minority at our school. She knew she would be when she decided to come to school with me. That's right, she chose to come to a high minority, high poverty school because she wanted to be here. She believes in what the school stands for and will tell anyone who will listen how proud she is to go to our school. Her race has not been a problem until tonight.

We had a small crowd at the game. The girls were playing well in a close game.  Everywhere we have been this season people have been positive and encouraging. The girls expected the same at home. I'm saddened to say that a few people in a small crowd ruined what had been such a positive experience for a great group of young ladies. As the girls are learning about volleyball, so is the community.  I could chalk this up to a learning experience for all of us but, it's a ugly, harsh way to learn. Lack of education, poverty, or race is no excuse to holler at kids that they're awful. None of those factors are a reason to holler out a number of a child, on your own team, and say get her out of there. There is also never a reason to point at kids and make racial comments,  but a few people did. The comments made to my daughter brought her to tears.

As her coach and as her mother, I really wanted to walk across the court and go beat the hell out of the people ruining this experience for my child and her teammates.   I was able to tell Josie "pull yourself together. Your made of stronger stuff than that! Don't worry about what they say, you go home with me!

To be fair, my daughter wasn't the only one targeted.  By the end of the second set I had two in tears and two ready to go across the court to fight grown folks. I did what I could by having the ad ask them to leave. That quited the rest of the crowd, but the damage was done. The team that gets praise from some of the best teams around for their sportsmanship,  joy of playing, and positive team spirit did not enjoy winning the third set against a team that beat them just last week in three sets.  The girls did not have a good time. One could not finish the game because she was so upset. The girls couldn't shake the negativity from a few people in their community.

Such things are not what youth sports are designed to teach! I'm not naive.  I've been coaching for 20 years and heard some pretty ugly things hollered in MY general direction. When you holler ugly things to student athletes, to someone's child..... well that's a whole other story. I would have loved to take all the girls home with me last night and show them the love and respect they deserved on the court. As a coach, parent and educator,  I felt the need to process with the next generation how to handle an ugly situation, when it happens by people who should know better, but sadly the rest of the girls weren't going home with me. I hope conversations were had, egos were smoothed and confidence was rebuilt in other homes last night even if all I could do was have only one of those conversations with only one child!

You Didn't Come With Instructions

Seizure accident on his bike! He recovered quickly and was on his bike the next day!

Yesterday the lovely office assistant forwarded a phone call to my office.  Luckily, I was looking for a student in our computer system and was in my office to take the call... from the Elijah's school nurse.  Usually I'm not in my office much so, this was just dumb luck that I was in my office to take the call.

This is Elijah's first year in middle school and he's decided to break in the school nurse and teachers quickly by having a two minute seizure in the middle of the hallway, during class change.  He was unconscious and couldn't feel his legs when he came to.  He also went down pretty hard and hit his head on the concrete.  Floor 1, Elijah 0 as indicated by the goose egg on his head.

Funny thing is I just met with his teachers the day before to review his 504 plan and his seizure plan.  Not sure his teachers really thought he needed either.  Apparently they really weren't paying attention because his math teacher told us that she "didn't know what to do and Elijah had not come with instructions!"  She was also confused that his medical alert only had conditions, medications and phone numbers on it...NO INSTRUCTIONS!  Probably why we had a meeting sweetheart, and while this was an unusually long seizure for Elijah, I would assume a person with a college degree and almost 20 years of teaching experience has had a kid or two with epilepsy.  If not she probably should of taken some notes during the meeting, or better yet, read his seizure plan.  Now I can't be all perturbed with the teacher.  While she let the kids in the hall surround him while he was unconscious (hello anyone had basic first aid at this school?), she did concoct a good cover story so Elijah didn't have to explain epilepsy to 100 sixth graders in the hall.  The story goes he fainted, fell, knocked himself unconscious on the floor and had to go home to make sure he didn't have a concussion.  The truth would have been a lot easier!

I'm not sure which children come with instructions pinned to their chest.  None of the kids I birthed, babysat or taught had such notes attached to them. I suppose you could tattoo instructions on a child, but I imagine child services would object.  Here are the instructions I'm tempted to pin to Elijah's chest when he goes back to school on Monday (if a 6th grader would let you do such a thing).

Epilepsy is pretty common.  If you have a brain, you can have a seizure and while watching a seizure can be scary please follow these instructions:
1. Turn him on his side.
2. Start timing (at 3 minutes call an ambulance and transport to ER)
3. Clear the area (he doesn't want people to watch him have a seizure and you wouldn't either)
4. When the seizure is done check for bumps and breaks
5. Only ask him yes or no questions, language is an advanced skill and his brain just had an electrical storm and isn't ready to engage you verbally.
6. Call parents
7. Let him nap until parent arrives, or he says he's ready to go back to class.
8. Breath! It's not his first seizure and it won't be his last.  He's embarrassed and worried that others will think he is not capable of being a fully functioning human being! Please don't add to these feelings, he feels bad enough right now.
9. If you feel the need to say something say "Welcome Back or Carry On".
10. He's a normal kid.  Give him a hug and let him be a normal kid!  No need to relive the experience, or limit his activities.  If it's not bothering him, don't let it bother you.  Sit back and watch what knowledge and resiliency can do!

A kid who happens to have epilepsy doing normal kid things!

He plays sports too!

He eats normal food!

You Should Thank Jesus

Yesterday was another day of doctors not knowing what's wrong with me, nor how to treat what's wrong with me. Currently,  my blood pressure and heart rate are too low. The chest pains and dizziness are also problematic. When I was discussing with someone what was wrong (after they asked why I went to the doctors) their response shocked and angered me. What could someone say that would cause shock and anger? "You should thank Jesus that you don't have cancer or something more serious!"  Which was followed by "You don't look sick. Are you sure? You're pretty athletic."

Many possible comments came to my brain. The following are things I wished I said:
1. Perhaps,  you should thank Jesus that I haven't knocked your head off your shoulders for being and idiot!
2. I'm sure Jesus has better things to do then give me an invisible illness to be thankful for.
3. Jesus made it possible for me not to look sick so I can practice patience for the mentally challenged.
4. I'm pretty sure Jesus didn't give me Hashimoto's, since it's an autoimmune disease, to test how thankful I am.
5. Are you really that gifted that you can put your foot in your mouth and talk out your ass?
6. In your world do athletes not get sick?

Any of these would be justified comments to a person who is insensitive to an illness they can't see.  I carry on with work, and parenting, and coaching despite not feeling well, in hopes I can fake it until I make it. Some days I make it through the day; some days I make it through a couple of hours. Just because my illness is not visible,  it doesn't make it any less to battle.  We'd all be in better shape if we remembered to treat each other with a little grace and mercy instead of righteous and judgements

So, what did I say to my Jesus friend? As an educator my first instinct was to attempt to educate them, but to be completely honest I just answered I thank Jesus everyday and carry on.