We're Moving

Many of you that see me every day know that I will no longer be a special ed teacher.  I accepted a position as an assistant principal at a high school in Southwest Georgia.  Think Heat of the Night, Dukes of Hazards and add a chicken processing plant and that's where I'll be trying my hand at being an assistant principal.  I'm excited for the new opportunity and my husband is relieved that I'm finally putting seven years of education to work!  As my new adventure in education is three hours away, it has necessitated a move for the entire family.  While the office, lap top and pay raise were all cool. the rest of the family was a little less than impressed that we are going to be moving.  This is how it breaks down on the opinion to move:

Stephen: Senior year, as long as I get to wrestle, whatever (yes we are moving to a district where he can wrestle, but more on that later)

Zeke: Freshmen, doesn't care because it was all going to be new to him anyway!

Josie: Eighth grade is worried about possibly sharing a room, but willing to make new friends that don't take medication.

Elijah: Since we picked the house that he liked he's okay as long as the new school doesn't make a big deal about his seizures.

Colin: Looking forward to new people to charm.

And the biggest kid of them all..... my husband.....

Excited that our new house will have central air, not thrilled about a three bedroom house with all these kids and researching a tractor for the acre of land that the house is on.

That leaves one person left, me and I'm frankly overwhelmed at the process of buying and moving.  The first time I bought a house I was pregnant and my ex-husband handled the details.  I just directed where I wanted stuff put.  The second time I bought a house, I was pregnant and Brian handled all the packing.  I just paid for the house and directed where I wanted stuff.  This time it's different.  Brian is working and even though we are not moving until August 2, I have to pack and organize the move on top of all the paper work.

Right now I'm at the point where I'm willing to take the dining room table, kitchen ware, beds and clothes, the TV, and the computers and leave the rest in Griffin until my brain can process all the change.  I know that  probably isn't what's' going to happen, but a girl can dream right!

A Day at the Lake

I am currently sitting by the lake watching my kids swim. Actually, I'm sitting under some pine trees, being eaten by bugs, watching my kids swim, and people watching. This lake is part of the state park system of Georgia. The same state park system that I buy a yearly pass to so my kids can enjoy nature and I can enjoy watching our eclectic society!

I'm feeling a little behind the times here.You see, I'm not wearing a swim suit. Yes, I know its odd to take the kids to the beach with no intention of getting in the water, but at 80 degrees its still a little cold for me to brave a spring fed lake. Additionally, I'm a little self conscious about how I look in a swim suit. I'm ten pounds from my "ideal" weight, and in all my current swimsuits either boobs, or butt, or both hang out. My running tan lines and five kid stretch marks don't help my swimsuit confidence either. My darling husband has pointed out none of these insecurties should be a worry of mine at this establishment.

He has a valid point! First, there is visible proof of why the southeast is the heaviest in the US, and they're all wearing two pieces. Second, there are also tramp stamps galore! Shoulder tatoos too (and these are women in my age bracket). Did I miss a fashion memo that tatoos are now a required fashion accessory, because if they are I'm going to be out of fashion for a long time! Lastly, a number of these overweight,  tatted, mothers are also smoking, which is always unflattering in my book!

The kids are having a good time. Hopefully,  there having a good enough time that they go to sleep early and I can shop for a nice, flattering one piece for our next beach adventure!

My Choice To Have It All

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-myth-of-the-modern-dad-exposed-new-book-claims-men-still-wont-sacrifice-their-careers-for-fatherhood-8622285.html

The above article link talks about the "myth" of the modern dad. The mythical modern dad is an equal parenting partner. He changes diapers, does feedings, attends school functions and regularly enjoys spending time with his children above all else.  Earlier in the day I also I read an article from Rebecca Walker who was discussing the damage done to her by her famous author/feminist mother Alice Walker. The damage was caused by the feminist notion that children enslave women and do not allow women to reach fulfillment. Both articles brought me to a state of early Sunday morning reflection on my own life path.

I was raised in a quasi feminist house. I was also raised in a quasi traditional house. Upon my reflection on my own adult choices I see the influence of both schools of thought. My mother was a college educated teacher from the south and my father was a working class,union president from New England. For the first eight years of my life my mom stayed at home. She cooked, she cleaned, she knit, she did needle work. My father was a pipefitter. He got up early, went to work, ate supper, read us a story and went to bed. If I got sick in the middle of the night my dad came. If I needed something to eat my mom came.

I never thought of their roles as feminine or masculine.  They naturally did what they did best. When I decided to build a tree house, play baseball or build an ice rink, my father participated and assisted with those activities. When I decided to bake, decorate a room or write a story, my mother participated and assisted with those activities. My parents participated and assisted my sister and I with activities based on what they were good at. My mom didn't enjoy outside activities and was not athletically inclined so she didn't do those activities with me. When my father got sick with lung cancer my mom went to work and my dad took over household duties. They were a team.

When my dad died my mom tried to have a career and family, but without my dad as her teammate some decidedly mascline chores fell to me. My mom also became more involved with her career the older we got. I doubt its a feminist move on her part but more a I miss my partner move.

Watching my parents and later my mother, I figured I could have a family and a fulfilling career. I can "have it all!" The trick wasn't having a feminist mentality that I didn't need a man, or that I can do anything a man can do.  The tricks have been finding a husband/partner whose willing to help and pick up my slack, knowing when its time to put the job down and pick the family up, and knowing that investing a little back into me makes me an all around better person. I have made a choice to balance family and career. Is it easy? No, but I'd hate not working and having children has been a truly positive life changing experience.  Both help define who I am and the balancing act to have it all is worth it.

Courageous? If You Have The Money

The news today has been littered with stories of how courageous Angelina Jolie was in going public with her decision to have a double mastectomy because she has a cancer gene. At the risk of hurting some truly courageous people who have fought and are fighting cancer I do not believe her decision, as difficult as it was, was couragerous. It was a decision she could make because she could afford to! What a great option to have!

Most Americans, if they went to their doctors and asked for such a procedure could not pay for it out of pocket, or get their insurance companies to fund it.  The media as a whole has neglected to discuss the issue of affordable healthcare.  Does America have the best health care in the world? Yes! Do most Americans have access to the best healthcare in the world? No!

Courageous to me would be if Angelina Jolie had come out and offered to fund some mastecomies for women who will never have the money, or healthcare to have such a life saving operation. Courageous to me would be if such a famous person would use her media stature to draw attention, raise money, or give public service announcements for cancer treatments and research.  Courageous to me are all the cancer fighters who fought insurance companies while fighting for their lives! Angelina Jolie was as courageous as her money allowed her to be!

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day! I've been reading wonderful tributes to mothers everywhere today and they are very touching, which in turn makes me a little touchy on the topic of motherhood. I obviously have a mother. I even attached a picture so you can see the similarities. By most people's account my mom has done a good job. I should serve as evidence of her undying love and sacrifice to her children.  I have a bunch of degrees, a large family which I support in the same field she has been in for over thirty years. My children are fed and happy most days. By most accounts I'm a good teacher like her, but if you scratch the surface just a little you'll see an entirely different picture.

My mom always made sure I had the stuff I needed. She never hit me. She wasn't over bearing, but she really wasn't mentally present in my life. If she couldn't throw money,or stuff at it, she didn't know what to do when it came to me. Cool when you're a kid; not so cool when you're an adult with kids of your own and a lack of financial resources to parent in such a way. I lacked a viable mother example for the situation I was in as a young mother. Hopefully, the therapy I've paid for over the years for my oldest has overcome this.

You see, my mom likes to save things and I never really needed saving. My independent nature is an inheritance from her. I'm not good with being told what to do (inheritance from my dad) and we never really jived. There's not lots of pictures with just me and my mom. I was more a Daddy's girl and when he got cancer I was forced into a parental role for my younger sister. I was encouraged to be mentally strong and useful so, that was my child hood. I had adult responsibility and my mom treated me like an adult from the age of ten.

I'm strong and resourceful thanks to my mom. My strong survival nature is a direct result of her parenting.  For that I'm grateful! I'm sure she did the best she could with what she had (namely me). When I was younger, I use to tell people I raised myself. I now know that's untrue because my oldest likes to say the same thing to me and I KNOW the parenting effort that has gone into him!

The wonderful tributes everyone is making to there mothers today, well I wish I could make one too, but our relationship doesn't work that way. She doesn't tell me she loves me. She doesn't tell me she's proud of me. She assumes I know and is uncomfortable if I bring such things up so, I don't. I have been blessed with some other mother figures that filled in the gaps. I hope my kids find such people to fill in their gaps. Being a mom is hard work. I know that now that I have kids of my own. I parent different than my mom did in hopes of getting a wonderful tribute when they are older. As for a wonderful tribute to my mom, I can say this: Thanks for trying your best! Most days I'm a happy, well adjusted, productive member of society and without my mom I wouldn't be!

Shocked and Proud at the Same Time

There's lots of things I could write about in light of this week's events in Boston and I will at a later date, but what just happened in my living room with my daughter's friend, who is spending the night shocked me and made me proud at the same time.  See my daughter's friend doesn't think races should mix. When this statement came out of her mouth I was shocked a seventh grader in this day and age would have such an archaic opinion about people. Apparently my daughter failed to tell her friend that her aunt, my sister is black. No one has told the poor girl that Elijah, Stephen and Zeke all have close friends that are "minorities." No one told the girl that my school children are predominantly minorities and I encourage my personal children to view them as family too. No one told the girl that she attends a school and lives in a community where she is the minority!

Like all parents I wonder if I've done a good job instilling knowledge and values that I find important (like bathing, wearing clean underware, tolerance, and patience when dealing with ignorance).  Its not that my kids don't know that racism exisit, they do. Its not that I don't know that people raise their kids with some racist ideology, I do. Its the fact that I wanted confirmation that my children don't share this little girl's ignorant views on inter racial interactions. Confirmation I got! Here are summaries of my children's responses to the little girl.

Elijah:  Well isn't she ignorant! Obviously she hasn't watched a lot of tv or noticed that white people are not always a majority.

Colin: Ummmm my aunt is black, my mom's volleyball team is black and I wouldn't like not being able to mix with them. If I was brown then you wouldn't associate with me and I could have the tv to myself. Mom how can I get browner?

Josie: I don't care what color my husband is as long as he's rich and loves me! (Okay, so I have some work to do with the materialistic nature of Josie's views on marriage).

So I'm proud my kids don't have racist viewpoints. At least I've accomplished something!

Engaging in the Dish Battle

After spending the last two hours of mind numbing health assessments for the insurance company, I am currently "supervising" my darling daughter doing the dishes, AT 945PM!  This has become an almost daily battle with her and she is a master procrastinator! Here's Josie's top 5 current attempts at avoiding dishes and engaging in battle with mom!

1. I have never seen someone so young need to use the bathroom so much when it is time to do the dishes.  She pees more than a woman having twins and only when she has to do the dishes.  I have counted twelve trips to the rest room from the time that she started the dishes to the time that I told her she could no longer use the rest room until the dishes were done!  Must be the water she isn't running when she is proclaiming how unfair it is that her only chore is doing the dishes that causes such bladder issues!

2. Three hours ago I learned that the dishwasher (that's as old as she is) has a plate warming feature!  Imagine that, plate warming!  Back in my day we called that the drying cycle and it did not impede our ability to unload the dishwasher and reload all the stuff that you were not planning on washing by hand.  Why we would need a plate warmer when everyone eats cereal or pop tarts 12 hours later for breakfast is beyond me, but apparently the plate warmer feature can't be disturbed?

3. 8:45 and 9:45 are about the same time!  Never mind that the girl is gifted in math and can add and subtract in her head faster than I can punch numbers in the calculator!  The time space continuum is only disrupted when Josephine has to do the dishes!

4. Josie has testing next week!  Really, state testing versus dishes?  Next WEEK?!  This impacts getting the dishes done tonight how?  Yeah!  She really couldn't answer that question either, but I can!  It does not and it will not effect testing next week either!  If testing is that important than said smarty pants daughter will make sure that the dishes are done before 8pm, the stated bed time that she has requested for next week. Oh and mom will remember that she requested such an early bed time!

5. Doing dishes is unfair labor practices because Josie's primary job is going to school and making good grades so she can go to Mercer!  I like how she throws the old Alma Mater in there.  Despite being informed that Josie will be paying for college all by herself and could probably use a skill such as dish washing to cover her $40,000 a year in tuition costs to go to Mercer, Josie feels that focusing solely on her academics is her best bet to becoming a Bear like mom.

I know that I will have to go put half the dishes that she is washing by hand back into the sink for her to redo because she half washed them thinking: One, no one would check and Two, mom wouldn't dare make her food in dirty bowls, pots or pans!  She isn't without resources and has proposed on numerous occasions possible solutions to the dish dilema.  Here are Josie's solutions to the daily dish battle:
1. Everyone take care of their own dishes.
2. Colin do the dishes
3. Mom do the dishes
4. Everyone can stop eating so much so no one will have to do the dishes
5. Hire a maid to do the dishes
At least she has some possible solutions to her avoidance behaviors, but her mother just won't fund or let Josie implement any of her solutions.  Apparently doing dishes makes it a rough life, but the dish battle will wage on until 2018- the year Josephine graduates high school!  Please wish her luck and pray for the avoidance of nuclear warfare from mom!  Thanks!