Nobody Said This Was Easy

I've been a parent now for 17 years. I have been a coach for 25 years. I have been a teacher for 16 years. These three facts have provided me ample opportunities to work with and observe children and parent teams in the teen years. I'm here to tell you the late teen years make the terrible twos look easy! This, from a lady who teaches teens with learning and behavior issues all day probably won't instill great faith for parents of younger children. Folks, parenting a teen isn't easy!

I have birthed some pretty cool kids. They bathe daily, go to school, don't do drugs or drink, haven't been arrested so, why do I feel like I'm fighting an uphill battle to be a good mom? First, my oldest hates school and doesn't achieve anywhere near his potential. Rewards, punishments, threats, and flat out knock down drag out fights have not pushed his academic performance towards a more positive direction. Our agreed upon truce is he'll pass his classes and if he does happen to fail one it will be in the range that he can recover the credit for free. Second, said oldest child will not take it easy at wrestling practice. We went to the doctor's yesterday and that's what she told him. Hey, I'm happy he's found something he loves and will work hard at but really wish it wasn't so physically demanding. Third, all three of my teens alternate between wanting me to go away and being all knowing mom who can anticipate and n provide for all needs. Hey, these teen things don't come with warning lables of when its okay for a hug, or comment, or opinion or just being present. This constant on again, off again mom is cool, mom is the worst mom ever thing is crazy!

So why isn't parenting teens easy? That whole free will thing seems to be interfering with what I think is best for my dear, sweet baby. It was easier when they just cooed and smiled at everything you did. I have succeeded in raising exactly what I set out to raise: strong, independent, self sufficient, strongly opinionated people. Be careful what you wish for because parenting it can be hard work!

I'm Sick

Okay, I'm sick! There! I admit that most days I'm sick. Migraines, arthritis, asthma... anyone of these three are legitimate reasons to be under the weather, but the recent addition of stomach issues has brought me to the conclusion that I'm sick and have been for about a month. It has also brought me to the conclusion that the meds I  take for my chronic conditions could be the root cause of my stomach issues! Through most of my cronic conditions I continue to live a pretty full life. I run, I work, I bake, I attempt to keep up with the demands of our busy family, but stomach pain with everything I eat has cut into my pretty full life!

My stomach is effecting my life to such an extent that I have contemplated giving up coke a cola, the base of my diet for the last twenty-five years! Today, I bought gluten free sandwhich bread mix, which is a huge deal considering bread and I have had a love affair all my life! Fried foods (another love), chocolate (who doesn't love chocolate?), cheese, milk, bacon, ice cream, and now my go to food pizza, all cause gastro upset! What the hell do I eat that won't cause gastro upset?

I don't have a clue, and since I've lived all my life with the comforting presence of really good food (both cooking it and eating it), I'm conceding that I'm sick! They say the first step is admitting you have a problem, so here goes....eating causes me nausea, cramping, bloating and frequent trips to the rest room. There, now that I have admitted I'm sick I would kindly appreciate if these gastro issues would go away!

A Day at the Primary Care Doctor

I have been battling vertigo for two weeks and today the vertigo is so bad and the pressure in my chest and back of my head warranted a trip to the doctor (or so says web md). My husband called the primary care doctor who said come on in.  This is a cheaper (read 55.00 copay instead of 150.00 copay of the emergency room) option than going to the er or waiting days for a nero appointment. What today has been, is a waste of time at best, and a effort in frustration and incompetence at worst!

We left the house at one. There were a few people waiting in the waiting room.  Two, twenty somethings were working the front desk. One was working the phone and the other was taking insurance cards and payments. Twenty minutes earlier the girl on the phone talked to my husband, now the girl at the desk was surprised to see me.  Did I mention my head is on a tilt a world ride while I'm standing waiting for the girl to pull my "file", otherwise known as hitting the key on the computer while my vital information pulls up? I was expecting to only have to go to the window once, sign the forms, give my copay and then sit in an uncomfortable chair, while a new room spins! Yeah, not so much.  One hour after arriving, I was called back up to the window to sign a privacy form and an agreement to pay. I had to remind the twenty something that she needed to take the copay, but at this point I think they should be paying me.  Don't get me wrong, those two girls were having a great time at work, and I'm all for having fun at work, when you are indeed working. These two were definitely not working! They did manage to turn the tv from some lifetime movie to HGTV so, I guess they weren't completely incompetent?

I finally got past the waiting room (1:45 minutes after signing in). There were two cna's? Whose name tags said back office staff that took me to the examining room. One filled out another piece of paper while the other one took my blood pressure on top of my clothes. Wasn't too surprised that it came up at 120 over 70, 20 points higher than usual.our  I'm not sure why it took two people to complete such a task, but it did.  My husband was very impressed with my expansive paper file, which must have been the reason for the almost two hour wait to get to an exam room.  The back office staff left and we waited another fifteen minutes for the nurse practitioner to come in and I started my watch.  The nurse practitioner looked over the sheet and asked a few questions.  She looked in my ears, down my throat and up my nose.  Guess what?  They all looked good, minus a little redness in my throat that wasn't bothering me.  She didn't listen to my heart, despite asking about the pressure in my chest.  She didn't check my glands.  She spent exactly five minutes and 48 seconds in the exam room.  The reason for my vertigo?  I'm getting old and might have some uneven congestion in my ear.  The treatment?  A steroid shot and a prescription for Dramamine (which the insurance company refused to pay for at the pharmacy)!

Now, maybe I have been spoiled by my neurologist office that runs like a fine tuned machine, and the longest I have had to wait is 15 minutes; or maybe I've been spoiled by my dentist office that not only provides coffee, tea and water in the waiting area, but also gives patients updates on wait times. To say I'm disgusted with my primary care doctor, that I have been seeing for the last ten years, would be an understatement!  I now understand why emergency rooms are packed.  If medical care is going to be expensive, and you're going to have to wait, then at least your in a place where they will run some tests when you complain of chest pains and indicate that you have other medical conditions like heart issues, asthma etc. For a semi-control freak like my self, with a knack for research, and grew up in doctors' offices and hospitals, I just wish I could call the doctor and tell him what's wrong and he could email me a treatment plan with whatever prescriptions I need.  Less exposure to germs, less frustration with incompetent office workers and a much better use of my time!  Maybe I'll send my suggestions to Congress to include with their debates and funding for Obama Care!

A Dizzy Day

I have spent the last couple of weeks battling vertigo,  really, really bad vertigo! My days feel like I'm on a tilt a world and I'm never getting off.  In fact I have spent a good bit of time laying on my side and gripping whatever solid object is nearby, including the random child who walks by wanting to know when I'm getting up to play, make dinner, transport etc.

I had big plans for break too. Lesson plans for all of second semester, baking up a storm, running thirty miles, cleaning, just all the stuff you don't get to do when your working. I didn't get much of that done. I baked...some.  I ran.... some with a partner (otherwise known as a babysitter and when I ran by myself my husband had to pick me up twice). I planned.... some (I got a unit on Europe planned and now just need to create the support materials).  Other than that the only thing I did get done was be a wrestling mom, and I have the video and brusies on my hands from clapping to prove it!

Today, I had a root canal (yeah something crossed off my to do list) and my wrestler had a state qualifer that I couldn't miss. I drove the boys over to the school, left during weigh ins and returned back to the meet after the root canal. I made it back to the meet, but the up and down of the dentist chair made my vertigo a thousand times worse than it was all week. I spent thirty minutes laying down on a bleacher until the tilt a world in my head calmed down.  My mouth was a little sore, but the novacaine held the pain in check so I could show my vocal support for the team. The boys weren't at their best either, but despite the dizziness, the root canal and some of the boys wrestling sick, the team was region runner up and will go to state Thursday! Proud of the boys, but proud of me too that despite the dizziness I was able to get some things done this break. I might not have got all the things done, but I was present and able to share some special memories with the important people in my life and that's a qualifer for a state championship in itself!

Due Diligence

I recently completed my due diligence neurologically speaking. I had a portable eeg done that we are eagerly waiting for the results to reveal if I have epilepsy. I really don't need another neurological issue, but the doc said we needed to complete the eeg, so I wore it for 48 hours, hoping diligence has been severed! Somehow I'm thinking diligence wasn't served but the insurance company and hospital were!

I can say that the eeg did allow me to diligently explain it's purpose to students and faculty. While most people first thought I was being tested for brain cancer, I diligently explained my battles with migraines, the prevalence of epilepsy and the purpose of wearing a hat to cover the wires. I diligently told students that I wasn't getting electronic shocks and that the eeg didn't hurt.  It smelt bad and I had to cut my hair to get rid of already the glue, but diligence has been served! Now, if only the doctor's office would diligently get my results back!

I included some pictures in case you're curious!

Some Prayers

There are millions around the world praying for the families of Sandy Hook elementary. Tonight I also pray for those families and I also pray for America to stop using such tragic situations as political footballs! I'm praying that while people are arguing about God's involvement, or lack of involvement in this situation that American's use this incident to examine their own values, examine what is truly important to them.

Yes, I hugged my kids a little tighter tonight. This hasn't changed the fact that my husband had more security at his tire plant then any school I have ever worked in. If children are truly our most dearest and important resource, is it too much to ask that all schools ensure exterior doors are locked from the outside? How about badges and door greeters at the front door of all schools? If identification badges, key cards and door greeters are security mainstays at the dam Wal Mart, they sure as hell can be standard at all American schools! I pray such security measures are put in place in every American school by Monday!

I'll be saying a lot of prayers for the children in America who now wonder if their school is safe. I'll be saying prayers for the teachers and staff that they have the strength and awareness to ensure America's schools are safe! Most of all I'll be praying for parents and communities to have the wisdom and strength to ensure children's safety at school! This is AMERICA! We are BETTER than this! We will FIX this!

That Mom

So, it's that time of year when I spend a great deal of time watching my oldest son wrestle. I've been coaching since I was fifteen, so I'm sure there were concerns about how the coach would be a parent with her athletes.  Over the last twenty years or so, I have seen some parents who are coaches stop being a parent and continue being the coach (a really rough coach).  I understand their concerns.  Some of the parents at these wrestling matches are ROUGH and they don't make a living coaching like I do!

I'm pretty well known and with a background in athletic training, I get access that other parents don't.  I have a coach's pass, so I don't pay the $7.00 to get into the match.  If Stephen gets hurt, I go down to the mat (if I'm not already there).  I've wrapped, stretched and iced for the team.  I know where everything is in the med kit and most of the time know where the med kit is.  I have keys to the wrestling room and in a pinch will fill in until a coach can get to the match.  Despite all of this, I try to remember that my role at wrestling is supposed to be Stephen's mom, not a coach!

Since I don't often get to be the athletic parent, I think I'm a good athlete parent, but I've been told that I'm one of THOSE parents!  You know, the ones with the video cameras and no matter where they are in the gym you can hear their voice over everyone else's.  Yeah, I'm that mom!  I have even attached video proof that I am THAT MOM!  Sometimes I think that I have earned the right to be that mom and other times I just pull out my knitting and try to be quiet.  Since I'm not a naturally quiet person, and I'm a very passionate sports fan, I usually leave most wrestling matches hoarse and like I've coached a marathon!

Stephen's childhood/ high school athletic career will come to an end next year.  When he shows his kids old videos of his great high school wrestling career he won't be able to do it without that loud voice in the background.  Even if I'm gone, when he shows his kids his videos, at least generations will know that he had a mom that cared enough to shout the very best behind the camera because she was THAT MOM!