You Didn't Come With Instructions

Seizure accident on his bike! He recovered quickly and was on his bike the next day!

Yesterday the lovely office assistant forwarded a phone call to my office.  Luckily, I was looking for a student in our computer system and was in my office to take the call... from the Elijah's school nurse.  Usually I'm not in my office much so, this was just dumb luck that I was in my office to take the call.

This is Elijah's first year in middle school and he's decided to break in the school nurse and teachers quickly by having a two minute seizure in the middle of the hallway, during class change.  He was unconscious and couldn't feel his legs when he came to.  He also went down pretty hard and hit his head on the concrete.  Floor 1, Elijah 0 as indicated by the goose egg on his head.

Funny thing is I just met with his teachers the day before to review his 504 plan and his seizure plan.  Not sure his teachers really thought he needed either.  Apparently they really weren't paying attention because his math teacher told us that she "didn't know what to do and Elijah had not come with instructions!"  She was also confused that his medical alert only had conditions, medications and phone numbers on it...NO INSTRUCTIONS!  Probably why we had a meeting sweetheart, and while this was an unusually long seizure for Elijah, I would assume a person with a college degree and almost 20 years of teaching experience has had a kid or two with epilepsy.  If not she probably should of taken some notes during the meeting, or better yet, read his seizure plan.  Now I can't be all perturbed with the teacher.  While she let the kids in the hall surround him while he was unconscious (hello anyone had basic first aid at this school?), she did concoct a good cover story so Elijah didn't have to explain epilepsy to 100 sixth graders in the hall.  The story goes he fainted, fell, knocked himself unconscious on the floor and had to go home to make sure he didn't have a concussion.  The truth would have been a lot easier!

I'm not sure which children come with instructions pinned to their chest.  None of the kids I birthed, babysat or taught had such notes attached to them. I suppose you could tattoo instructions on a child, but I imagine child services would object.  Here are the instructions I'm tempted to pin to Elijah's chest when he goes back to school on Monday (if a 6th grader would let you do such a thing).

Epilepsy is pretty common.  If you have a brain, you can have a seizure and while watching a seizure can be scary please follow these instructions:
1. Turn him on his side.
2. Start timing (at 3 minutes call an ambulance and transport to ER)
3. Clear the area (he doesn't want people to watch him have a seizure and you wouldn't either)
4. When the seizure is done check for bumps and breaks
5. Only ask him yes or no questions, language is an advanced skill and his brain just had an electrical storm and isn't ready to engage you verbally.
6. Call parents
7. Let him nap until parent arrives, or he says he's ready to go back to class.
8. Breath! It's not his first seizure and it won't be his last.  He's embarrassed and worried that others will think he is not capable of being a fully functioning human being! Please don't add to these feelings, he feels bad enough right now.
9. If you feel the need to say something say "Welcome Back or Carry On".
10. He's a normal kid.  Give him a hug and let him be a normal kid!  No need to relive the experience, or limit his activities.  If it's not bothering him, don't let it bother you.  Sit back and watch what knowledge and resiliency can do!

A kid who happens to have epilepsy doing normal kid things!

He plays sports too!

He eats normal food!

You Should Thank Jesus

Yesterday was another day of doctors not knowing what's wrong with me, nor how to treat what's wrong with me. Currently,  my blood pressure and heart rate are too low. The chest pains and dizziness are also problematic. When I was discussing with someone what was wrong (after they asked why I went to the doctors) their response shocked and angered me. What could someone say that would cause shock and anger? "You should thank Jesus that you don't have cancer or something more serious!"  Which was followed by "You don't look sick. Are you sure? You're pretty athletic."

Many possible comments came to my brain. The following are things I wished I said:
1. Perhaps,  you should thank Jesus that I haven't knocked your head off your shoulders for being and idiot!
2. I'm sure Jesus has better things to do then give me an invisible illness to be thankful for.
3. Jesus made it possible for me not to look sick so I can practice patience for the mentally challenged.
4. I'm pretty sure Jesus didn't give me Hashimoto's, since it's an autoimmune disease, to test how thankful I am.
5. Are you really that gifted that you can put your foot in your mouth and talk out your ass?
6. In your world do athletes not get sick?

Any of these would be justified comments to a person who is insensitive to an illness they can't see.  I carry on with work, and parenting, and coaching despite not feeling well, in hopes I can fake it until I make it. Some days I make it through the day; some days I make it through a couple of hours. Just because my illness is not visible,  it doesn't make it any less to battle.  We'd all be in better shape if we remembered to treat each other with a little grace and mercy instead of righteous and judgements

So, what did I say to my Jesus friend? As an educator my first instinct was to attempt to educate them, but to be completely honest I just answered I thank Jesus everyday and carry on.

I Don't Understand Tired

I'm sitting here silently fuming that physically well people did not complete their assigned tasks today, which in turn means I can't finish my assigned tasks! I saved up on my energy so I could stay up past ten to complete my task! Today, I heard every excuse that grown ups use when they don't complete their "homework!" Most of them I've heard, but when I was told I wouldn't understand how tired a person was because they had family obligations all weekend,  well that pushed a button.

I'm tired all the time. If I don't get at least 8 hours of sleep then I'm ready for bed at noon. I push hard during the week and would like to fully participate in family functions, but I have to take a nap after grocery shopping. In fact, I have to take a nap or rest after many things I do now. Its part of the joys of Hashimoto's. Being functional requires 6 supplements, a special diet, a highly managed sleep schedule and "management" of stressors.

Do you know what causes me stress? People who open their mouths and say I don't understand tired! Hey, people does the medicine you take every morning make you nauseous?  Does a change in the weather make neurological process like speech difficult for you? Does physcial exertion fatigue your muscles to where they shake and or cramp? Does having five kids, a job and coaching not mean I understand tired? Probably not in their world, but I assure you I understand tired. When looking to give me an excuse next time, how about trying the dog ate it. That excuse doesn't push my buttons and we can all carry on!

Everywhere and No Where Fast

Its been a while since I've written a blog post.  This is in part to school starting and in part to my Hashimoto's going all haywire.  I've been on a roller coaster with my emotions, my energy and my weight.  Get on the scale on Monday and it will say 164.  Get on the scale Tuesday and it will say 155.  Get on the scale Wednesday and it will say 160. No one loses and gains weight that fast unless they have a thyroid condition that is out of control. I hate looking fat and dumpy.  I hate reaching for a pair of pants in the morning and not knowing if I'll be able to button them (even though I could the night before).

My energy level is all over the place too.  I go from hyper to lethargic in the matter of hours, and not at times that those energy levels are needed. I have plenty of energy around 10 pm. At noon I need a nap. This weird energy pattern does not make me the life of the party, nor does it lend itself to getting things done. There is not enough caffeine to keep me awake when the tiredness hits. Even my pinky is heavy. When the hyper stage hits my heart feels like it's going to beat out of my chest. Not the most soothing feeling when your trying to go to sleep so you can wake up at 5am for work.

There have been daily bouts with nausea and vertigo.  Periods of starving to death followed by not wanting to eat anything at all. There are days that it's 8 pm and I realize all I've had to eat was a pop tart I chocked down in the car on the way to work at 6am. This is all thyroid related. Mentally I know that but when you enjoy preparing and eating food the way I do, it's depressing to realize where my current relationship with food is.

Either due to the wacky thyroid, or the rehabbing ankle that hasn't allowed me to run for the last month I'm very irritable.  Honesty,  I've never had much patience for stupid people or lazy people, but I've always been able to tolerate such things. Not recently!  There have been plenty of times in the last couple of weeks that I have gone to the bathroom to talk myself out of choking the bearer of one more task I don't have the energy for, or the off handed comment about how tight my pants look. I used to be able to let such things roll off, but lately I just want to slap the person in front of me. It also hasn't helped that my poor husband, who knows how to handle me when the world becomes too much, has himself been very busy at work and unavailable to talk me off the ledge.

To add insult to injury (or to just over load all my poor brain circuits) my hands have taken to swelling up. The people at work don't know how truly hard headed I can be. Most days I pass for a nice, upbeat, rational person. Imagine their surprise Friday when my finger swelled up so bad that I lost my wedding ring in the skin and I refused to let them cut it off. I'd lose my finger first before I'd allow anyone to cut my wedding ring off! The faces of the front off staff when I made that statement with my finger wrapped in an ice bag, before I attempted to pull said wedding ring off my finger, were shocked. I wanted to go cry and call my husband to come get me, but it was only 9am and there was testing to do and a football game to work, we'll you get the idea. I had to suck it up but looking down at my bruised ring finger during the day made me just want to cry some more.

My brain is everywhere,  but I feel like I'm not going anywhere fast in getting this Hashimoto's in check. I'm stuck and my anchor is busy. Running, cooking and writing that help ground me and keep me moving forward are either off limits or require too much energy to complete.  I guess there's some hope on the horizon.  I go get blood work this week and go to the endocrinologist in a couple of weeks. I just want to get back to the me I'm familiar with and I'm sure those around me would too.

First 5K With The New Ankle Brace and Rehabbed Ankle

Colin likes race selfies!

Today was the first day I took my rehabbing ankle and new brace for a 5K race run.  It was the furthest I've been since May's left ankle impingement.  The race started at 8:30 in the morning and in Southwest Georgia that means the starting temp was around 75 degrees.  That's a little hot for me to run in on account on the Hashimoto's and the increased swelling the heat brings on, but this time I managed to remember to take off my wedding ring prior to it cutting off my circulation after the first mile.  As the little boys were running this race with (read ahead) of mom, I made the two teens living at home get up to cheer us on!  The teens are also handy when it comes to holding things you don't like to run with like your car keys and the wedding ring you worry about losing while its in your running belt!

Unhappy ring/key holder teen!

The host for our morning festivities was Wild Side Running!  If your in Albany, Georgia this is THE RUNNING STORE!  Okay, its the only running store, but the owner Chris does a great job and has great gear at reasonable prices.  (I know because I'm a frequent visitor!)  Besides, anyone who knows to pick the softest poly blend tee shirts for a race and have cup cakes at the end knows how to host a race!  There was even a great dane dog who ran the race with us!  I do a lot of big races so it was nice to have a race director who not only said my name when he said good morning, but knew most of the 100 participants at the starting lane by first name.  The start was also an air horn instead of a gun shot which was probably a little nicer for the surrounding neighbors. Nothing like wondering if someone is starting a race, or if something is going on because you heard gunfire early on a Saturday morning!

Family Shot before running

Colin and Elijah went to the front of the start and I hung out in front of the walkers and the Couch to 5K people.  The course was fairly flat which was good for testing out the new ankle.  No worries if it didn't go well because my physical therapist and office staff were also there to run the race.  Did I mention how nice it is to run a race where people know your name and didn't have to look at your bib to find it out!  The one hill was in the first mile which gave me a chance to see what the brace and ankle would do on my nemesis terrain.  My first mile split was 13:37 which was a whole minute faster than I had been training this month and with the heat climbing I have to admit I was a little nauseous and soaked but, there's only one way to the finish so I kept going.  The little boys were out of sight for the first two miles.  I slowed it down for the second mile, hoping to recover my stomach. Did I mention that the kids ate all my cinnamon pop tarts and didn't tell me so I had to settle for a piece of toast?  No? Well at least I didn't throw up all over someone's lawn.  The route was for the most part shaded, but by 2.5 miles I was really starting to feel that 80 degree heat, but thank God there was a nice little breeze coming off the lake.  I was sad to leave that little cool area, but that was when I noticed two cute little boys walking about 50 meters ahead of me.

Before they wanted to kill each other

It was their first time running together as a pair and it went as well as expected.  I could hear Colin, the runner, telling Elijah, the kid who was running for a cupcake and a shirt, to stop whining they were almost done.  I waved at them, they waved back at me, and Colin took off, and Elijah shook his head. He did that race walk thing you do when you don't want your 40 year old mom to pass you, but you're really too tired to put much effort in it.  Pride won out because when I came 10 meters behind Elijah, he took off to catch up with Colin.  That was around 2.8 and when I rounded the turn at 3.0 miles, Josie decided she'd be cute and motivate me by running the last .1 to the finish line with me.  Zeke couldn't pass up hollering "kick!"  I finished upright and in 45:15ish.  Pretty good for my first race on the impinged ankle and the new heavy duty brace!  More importantly, there were no blisters, my left ankle didn't swell up to twice its normal size, I didn't throw up and I finished up right! Oh and I was only about 45 seconds behind those two cute little boys who had a water and a cupcake waiting!

Hot and a little worse for wear after our race!

Sewing and a Migraine to End Vacation

There's classical music playing, the hum of a sewing machine as old as I am in the back ground and the clicking of the keyboard.  That's what the last day of vacation looks like around here when your trying to get rid of a migraine before you go back to work and get things done.  When our AC went out last weekend, my husband found a pretty high end sewing machine in the attic, cicra 1970 something.  Thank God it had its instructional manual and with my daughter's new found enthusiasm for attempting to use it, we decided it would be a good mother daughter bonding project to make a quilt for the living room.  (It looks easy enough on Pinetrest, right?)

Someone's proud of herself!

I cut most of the pieces because after one yard of fabric, Josie realized that sewing could be a little tedious.  She likes to use the machine, which is fine with me because I think bending over it yesterday is what escalated my headache to an 8 (as well as the bologna sandwich and two days of homemade bread).  Its at a 5 this morning, which is somewhat manageable as long as I don't plan on doing anything too strenuous (like running, or cleaning, or moving fast).  Lucky for me I did my long run (2miles) for my half marathon training yesterday, because it surely would not get done today.

So the plan for the rest of today is to attempt to get rid of this headache, assist as needed with the quilt making and put away some laundry.  I'm sure there will be a couple naps and supper making in there, but really the day will be a success if I can stay upright with my head attached to my shoulders.  Anything else that gets done will be due to my wonderful family or a miracle!

Technology Takeaway

This is the face of an unhappy teenager when you take his electronics away and I mean all his electronics!  No cell phone, no television, no portable gaming system, nothing that plugs in or uses batteries.  You see, my children, like many children have lots of electronic things to occupy their time.  It keeps them quiet on long car rides and to be perfectly honest, it keeps them from fighting with each other.  Many times it is preferable to hear the beeping or clicking of keys then it is to hear "he's breathing on me!"

I remember summers outside, putting on plays and generally playing until our parents called us in at when the sun went down.  My children and their friends think summer is time to get on Facebook, or play video games with their friends (which nowadays does not require them to leave the comfort of their own couch). How can they have a great summer break if all they do is play on their electronics?  There is so much to see, and do and create, but not if the majority of your time is spent sleeping in and plugged in.

 I'm all for technology and all the wonderful things that it allows us to do (like this blog), but I think my kids have spent way to much time in their devices and not enough time outside or interacting with real live people.  So, being the awful parent that my children currently think I am, I have instituted electronic free days.  It has not been well received by the children.  On electronic free days my children are now forced to read paper books, go outside and make up creative ways to fill up their hours.  Just for fun, sometimes I call electronic free hours to force the kids to come up for air and participate in the world around them.  The younger kids seem to be dealing with this better than the older kids.  The older kids are much more attached to their electronic worlds and do not find mom's current experiment "fun."  I'm sure when the whining stops the kids will fondly look back on technology takeaway days, or they will have an effective punishment for their own kids!